Top 10 Insults For Old People

By Stan Goldberg

Incredible things are heard when nobody thinks youre listening. Recently in downtown San Francisco I was walking behind a twenty-somethingyear-old couple. They were forced to reduce their fast pace as they approached an elderly man slowly walking in the same direction. Unable to go around him because foot traffic was heavy, they exchanged annoyed expressions, then imitated the elder gentlemans halting movements.

Eventually, he turned off on a side street and they resumed their pace. The young man turned to his girlfriend and said, When I get that old shoot me. If he had asked me for help, I would have been delighted to give iteven early.

Unfortunately, aging is viewed by many younger people with the same anathema as a strange uncle who comes uninvited to a family gathering. Despite everyones assurance that nobody has told Uncle Ralph about the event, there he is in all his glory, wearing a plaid mothball smelling jacket, a striped shirt, and lime green pants. The few strands of remaining hair are carefully combed across his bald head. He sits in the middle of the room waiting for a simple hello, but receives the same amount of attention given to an unappetizing bowl of bean dip.

Why are younger people so reluctant to understand the process of aging? Theres an old saying that we fear most that which we will become. Everyones own Uncle Ralph is looming there, peaking over the approaching horizon. Those of us who have faced east and welcomed the sun, have come to understand that aging, while presenting challenges, is neither the bogeyman nor the doddering old fool often portrayed in hip Hollywood films. The Tibetans have a saying, to get over your fears, bring closer to you that which frightens you the most. Aging for many younger people falls into that category. And because its not understood, it often is ignored, ridiculed, and in the most egregious of cases, becomes the basis of inadvertent humiliation.

Our slower processing of information is often misinterpreted as a sign that our minds are turning to mush. Our more gentle physical pace is taken as an indication that our bodies are disintegrating. At sixty I completed my first triathlon. At sixty-three I finished my 7th book. At sixty-four I, along with nine older friends, hiked for seven days in the high Sierras. Typical activities for someone my age? Maybe not. But Im sure most people my age can substitute experiences and abilities many of our younger friends might find unexpected.

Most of us have experienced an incident that makes us wonder how some younger people can get it so wrong. Based on conversations Ive had with fellow old folks, Ive compiled the top 10 age-based insults. If youve one of us and have already asked Uncle Ralph to stay, maybe even engaged him in a serious conversation, theres little new here. But you might want to pass this article on to people who question your judgment, sanity, or value. If Uncle Ralph is knocking on the door, take heart, keep reading and youll learn that hes not as frightening as you think. If youre someone who drives behind us and honks because we drive at the speed limit or slightly below, definitely read on. And if youre an adult child with at least one living parent, read this daily.

TOP TEN INSULTS FOR OLD FOLKS

1. They are uninformed. Not knowing the names of the latest Oscar nominees doesnt mean were uninformed. Uninformed is not understanding why Korea was partitioned. Though we forget names, we remember the complexities of living those who are younger are still struggling to learn.

2.Once the body goes, the mind follows. Moving slowly doesnt mean weve lost our marbles. Check out any book written by Stephen Hawkins.

3. Theyve lost the capacity to be intimate. Our capacity to love is not diminished by age, it just takes on different forms.

4. Theyre going deaf, so speak loudly and slowly. We may not hear well, but we know how to listen and when to remain silent.

5. Theyre always cranky. We do get cranky. Dont take it personallyphysical pain and understanding about the inevitability of aging has that effect.

6. The elderly need guidance. Dont treat us as children, no matter how much are bodies are failing or how long it takes to process information. We may not think as quickly as we once did, but the quality of our deliberations and depth of our insights are undiminished.

7. They glory in their dependency. We dont become dependent to make your life miserable. We are more reluctant to ask for help than people are willing to give it.

8. They cant make decisions on their own. Weve made important decisions throughout our lives. Even somebelieve it or notthat had a very positive effect on the lives of others. Allow us the dignity of continuing to do it, at least for ourselves.

9. Their knowledge is outdated. In this fast-paced digital, cyber-connected, social-mediatized world, you may believe that our knowledge is irrelevant. But our wisdom, just as it has been since the beginning of time, isnt. It comes from living.

10. They behave strangely. Our attitudes and behaviors are the products of our history. So when we say or do something you dont understand, dont dismiss it out of hand, cut us some slack. After all dudes, WERE OLD.

About the Author:

Stan Goldberg, Ph.D.

. author of 6 books,100’s articles on end-of-life, grieving, and the recovery of joy. His book,

Lessons for the Living

was awarded the 2009 Best New International Book at the London Book Festival and an excerpt was the lead chapter in McClead’s Best Buddhist Writings of 2010.

Source:

isnare.com

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